Beware the sock-adorned doorknob
When it comes down to orchestrating dorm sex, communication is key
By: Leslie Cantu
Issue date: 2/13/03 Section: Sex-tion
- < prev Page 2 of 2
First, the women of the dorms rely on their interpersonal communication skills to forge friendships with their new roomies and to set ground rules about guests.
"That's one of the first things we talked about," one said.
The men of the dorms, on the other hand, tend to rely on "unspoken roommate telepathy." As in, knowing when would be a good time to check out what's going on down the hall.
But mistakes do happen. The prime mistake is getting so hot and bothered that getting up to lock the door doesn't seem worth the trouble.
"I heard my roommate scream and run out," one woman said. In retrospect, "you expect those things to happen when you don't lock doors. We learned our lesson."
Of course, a locked door won't stop a roommate with a key. Our dorm ancestors developed secret roommate codes--the sock/scrunchie/tie around the doorknob or an innocuous message on a dry-erase board on the door. But many dorm residents of today eschew these methods, fearing that they are too obvious and subject to tampering, or an invitation to harassment by bored hallmates.
Instead, knowing your roommate's schedule, or finding a significant other with a place of his/her own, can ensure tranquility. Many students said they will occasionally spend the night with a relative or friend, providing some privacy for their roommate and guest. But one student, caught off guard when he walked out of the shower into a pre-amorous scene, ended up in a sleeping bag on the lawn outside the dorms.
"It was warm outside, and I like camping and stuff," he said. "I got a good night's sleep."
Which brings us back to communication. A little bit of communicating could have prevented that impromptu sleepout.
John Buck, the coordinator of housing and residential life (not a fake name -- the odds of Buck getting in trouble after his mom reads this article are pretty low, so we can attribute), also emphasized the importance of communicating with one's roommate.
"If you're going to have a guest stay over your roommate needs to be cool with it," he said.
One-on-one time can even affect suitemates.
"Someone who's shacking all the time can affect the people next door," Buck said, because of the shared bathroom between the two rooms.
Buck emphasized, above all else, the importance of talking out one's problems.
Communicate. Talk.
Most students already understand this. But for those who don't, one resident offered this advice, "It's a dorm room, not a hotel."
"That's one of the first things we talked about," one said.
The men of the dorms, on the other hand, tend to rely on "unspoken roommate telepathy." As in, knowing when would be a good time to check out what's going on down the hall.
But mistakes do happen. The prime mistake is getting so hot and bothered that getting up to lock the door doesn't seem worth the trouble.
"I heard my roommate scream and run out," one woman said. In retrospect, "you expect those things to happen when you don't lock doors. We learned our lesson."
Of course, a locked door won't stop a roommate with a key. Our dorm ancestors developed secret roommate codes--the sock/scrunchie/tie around the doorknob or an innocuous message on a dry-erase board on the door. But many dorm residents of today eschew these methods, fearing that they are too obvious and subject to tampering, or an invitation to harassment by bored hallmates.
Instead, knowing your roommate's schedule, or finding a significant other with a place of his/her own, can ensure tranquility. Many students said they will occasionally spend the night with a relative or friend, providing some privacy for their roommate and guest. But one student, caught off guard when he walked out of the shower into a pre-amorous scene, ended up in a sleeping bag on the lawn outside the dorms.
"It was warm outside, and I like camping and stuff," he said. "I got a good night's sleep."
Which brings us back to communication. A little bit of communicating could have prevented that impromptu sleepout.
John Buck, the coordinator of housing and residential life (not a fake name -- the odds of Buck getting in trouble after his mom reads this article are pretty low, so we can attribute), also emphasized the importance of communicating with one's roommate.
"If you're going to have a guest stay over your roommate needs to be cool with it," he said.
One-on-one time can even affect suitemates.
"Someone who's shacking all the time can affect the people next door," Buck said, because of the shared bathroom between the two rooms.
Buck emphasized, above all else, the importance of talking out one's problems.
Communicate. Talk.
Most students already understand this. But for those who don't, one resident offered this advice, "It's a dorm room, not a hotel."
