WU needs mascot makeover
By: Colleen Reany
Issue date: 3/26/09 Section: Opinion/Editorial
The Gorlok is a wimp. Webster University students have been tolerating the hybrid, mess of a mascot for nearly 25 years. It's time to adopt a new mascot that instills fear in our rivals. The Gorlok is a joke, not just on our campus, but also throughout academia. Recently, a number of comedic Web sites have voted our mascot the lamest in the country. The off-color humor Web site www.Bofads.com pit WU in a competition for last place against the University of California-Santa Cruz's "Banana Slug," and The Stanford "Tree." Another site, www.Cracked.com, a viral video site, named "Gorlok" one of the world's most ridiculous sports team names.
I want to propose an update to this worn figure. I have an idea that will not only man-up our image but represent the core values of WU students. WU should adopt a new mascot- the "Stephen Col-Bear" based on the wise and fearless political pundit Stephen Colbert.
The image of a ferocious, wild bear combined with the stately presence of Colbert would instill dread in our enemies while garnering respect within the community. Neither Colbert nor bears take crap from anyone. There have been countless occasions when both have risen to meet opponents who challenge their physical and mental strength. Colbert demonstrated his awesome strength in this season of, "The Colbert Report" when he defeated Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R.-Utah, in three rounds of leg wrestling, where the combatants link their legs together at the knee and try to flip their opponent over into a forced backwards somersault.
Bears are also an entity to be highly regarded and feared. They display their brute strength in their random, yet ferocious mauling of campers. The combined forces of this new crossbred creature would be unstoppable. The new hybrid would put other mascots including Washington University's "normal" bear to shame.
Not only would the "Col-Bear" embody physical strength, it would symbolize the principles this university was built upon. Colbert stands for ideals that represent the WU community. He embodies a love for family and freedom. He holds to his made-up mantra of "truthiness" (which should not be confused with "the facts"). His commitment to his version of the facts represents WU's strong academic tradition.
I want to propose an update to this worn figure. I have an idea that will not only man-up our image but represent the core values of WU students. WU should adopt a new mascot- the "Stephen Col-Bear" based on the wise and fearless political pundit Stephen Colbert.
The image of a ferocious, wild bear combined with the stately presence of Colbert would instill dread in our enemies while garnering respect within the community. Neither Colbert nor bears take crap from anyone. There have been countless occasions when both have risen to meet opponents who challenge their physical and mental strength. Colbert demonstrated his awesome strength in this season of, "The Colbert Report" when he defeated Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R.-Utah, in three rounds of leg wrestling, where the combatants link their legs together at the knee and try to flip their opponent over into a forced backwards somersault.
Bears are also an entity to be highly regarded and feared. They display their brute strength in their random, yet ferocious mauling of campers. The combined forces of this new crossbred creature would be unstoppable. The new hybrid would put other mascots including Washington University's "normal" bear to shame.
Not only would the "Col-Bear" embody physical strength, it would symbolize the principles this university was built upon. Colbert stands for ideals that represent the WU community. He embodies a love for family and freedom. He holds to his made-up mantra of "truthiness" (which should not be confused with "the facts"). His commitment to his version of the facts represents WU's strong academic tradition.
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