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ANTEBELLUM: E-Volting

By: Matt Blickenstaff

Issue date: 3/18/10 Section: Opinion/Editorial
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This mileage saving, however, pales in comparison to the benefits of a million-meme march. Great political movements have always suffered oppression from the establishment, but bullets, guard dogs and fire hoses have little effect on ones and zeros. I bet Crispus Attucks wished he could've blogged the Boston Massacre after taking two musket balls to the chest.

That's not to say the information superhighway doesn't carry its own risks. If Tron has taught me anything about the Web, it's that jerks on lightcycles are waiting at every turn to take you out. At the very least, "marchers" can expect a bombardment of offers for penis enlargement pills and free Xboxes.

The digital age also allows an unlimited salvo of inspirational anthems. The "Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "We Shall Overcome" were kind of downers. Now, "marchers" can simply open up their iTunes library and pick any number of tea party favorites like Lloyd Marcus' "American Tea Party Anthem" or the old Lee Greenwood standby, "Proud to Be an American."

Whatever the tune, the culmination of this programmed promenade is an equally electronic rally on April 15. Of course, an actual protest is taking place in D.C. on that day, but if a dedicated tea partier can't make it to the big show, the Online Tax Revolt offers a technological alternative.

Say they lost a foot to diabetes because their insurance policy didn't cover pre-existing conditions. Well, all that marching would be a serious burden, wouldn't it? Or, if the wonderful free-market allowed the housing market to collapse, it might be hard to get away from that second job when foreclosure's edging ever closer. Wal-Mart greeters only get so many vacation days after all.

It's nice to know that, thanks to the Online Tax Revolt, a nationwide march no longer requires sacrifice beyond the calories necessary to lift a finger over a mouse button. April 15 will be forever known as the click heard 'round the world.
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